Q: I love my friends, don’t get me wrong. But lately, instead of enjoying myself with them, they’ve been making me feel bad about myself. They always make fun of me and laugh at me. I know I’m supposed to stop being friends with them and find new ones, but it’s just so hard. They’ve been my friends since elementary school, and I’m not too good at making new ones. What should I do? A: Sometimes friends do not realize their actions or words are hurtful. Because of this, I would advise you to talk to your friends about your hurt feelings and tell them that you don’t like being made fun of or laughed at. Try to stay calm and use specific examples of things they have said that have hurt your feelings. If you feel like talking in a big group would be too intimidating, start with the friend you’re closest with and express your feelings. Or, if there is someone who is doing most of the teasing and laughing, you could go directly to him or her and tell them about how you feel. If your friends react badly to this, then try to find other peers you can branch out to. You don’t have to completely transition friend groups, but it might be a nice to have another friend or two to confide in and hang out with. To make new friends, I would suggest starting with the people you’re familiar with. Try to reach out to those peers more. You could add them on Snapchat, ask to work on schoolwork together, or even invite them to hang out sometime. If you feel like you’re not friendly with anyone outside your friend group, then try to engage in other activities outside your friend group, like joining a new club. Also try to interact with other classmates in small ways, like complimenting someone or even saying hello. For example, you could compliment a girl on her shirt and ask her about where she got it or where she usually shops. Small things like that so she knows you’re interested in getting to know her. If you feel too anxious or nervous to do any of these suggestions, try to remember that most people like to make new friends, so the likelyhood that you won’t make any is relatively low. Also, questions are a great tool for socializing. Generally, people love to talk about themselves so don’t hold back. That being said, feel free to contribute your input on whatever subject you and your potential new friend may be talking about. Don’t ever feel like what you wanna say isn’t worthy of saying. You never know what you could bond over! Overall, I wish you the best of luck in both talking to your friends and possibly meeting new ones.
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Sarah ReinbrechtWHS Junior If you would like to submit a problem, please click the "Advice Column" tab.
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